To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides.

With a surprising outcome, I packed up all of my things at the house in only about four hours.  That time also included me hauling everything into the garage and taking apart my old bookshelf and my bed.  I also, somehow, managed to literally drag both my coffee table and my dresser into the garage by myself–no small feat, lemme tell ya.  I can pat myself on the back for hording so much luggage that I only used one box, but I never realized how many clothes I own [that I don’t wear].  Goodwill is going to be making out well thanks to me.   My back, on the other hand, is probably going to hate me once again.

Now that I have that out of the way, I don’t really know what I’m going to be doing over the next two days that I have off of work.  I hadn’t planned on getting the packing done so quickly, thus no back up plan.  I guess I could catch up on the reading for my business law class that I missed out on while I was on detachment in China Lake.  I also haven’t done the reading for this upcoming class period either.  I should probably do that..

Insert laziness here.

I told Corey I’d stay awake until he got home from work tonight.  When he got home at midnight last night I spent the two hours after that tossing and turning, unable to fall back asleep.  I really don’t want a repeat of that, especially since I’ve been quite the insomniac lately.  It’s really been a flash back to just a few short years ago when I was living off of three hours of sleep a night.  My mood’s been reflecting it too, which means I’ve been fairly unappealing to be around.  I’m probably just stressing life again, with moving and transferring weighing heavily on my mind.  I say give me a couple of weeks and I should, hopefully, be back to “normal” again. 

Also, I’ve been feeling nauseated for the last two or three weeks, off and on.  I’m going to take a wild stab in the dark and say it’s the new birth control pills I’m taking.  And, before anyone assumes anything, I’m not pregnant.  Though based on the few times that subject has been brought up, I’d say Corey would be more thrilled than terrified over that prospect.  In my eyes though, I wouldn’t be a huge fan of the timing.  Give it another year and a half when I’m off of active duty and I’d be a lot warmer to the idea.  

And based on a conversation my boss had with me the other day, I think other people are expecting that timeline too.  After verifying when I was getting out of the Navy, he flat out asked me if he’d be attending a wedding around that time.  At the bright red color of my face, he laughed and said he didn’t think that color was from dehydration and nicely changed the subject.

I don’t know what the situation is…

It’s funny how things work out sometimes. Unexpectedly, I guess I should say. Just after I made that post last night, I met someone new. Someone who has the possibility of sticking around for a while as a really solid friend. I went over to his apartment today and we baked some pumpkin bread together. That’s not an activity I tend to do with others, so it was a different experience. We have a lot in common, but enough differences to keep things interesting. I’m making no promises and I have no expectations for how this one will go, but I must tell you all…his name is Kevin.  That’s usually a bad, bad sign.  haha.

I forgot to mention it, but I cooked Thanksgiving dinner all by myself. There were only four of us in attendance, three of which live in this house. The fourth person was a co-worker of mine, or a past co-worker I should say. He’s on terminal leave, which basically means he’s out of the Navy. I invited him over to share dinner with us since his wife is in Oklahoma. The meal turned out really well, including my first turkey. We still have lots of turkey left over, but I know I’m not alone in that.

Oh, I wanted to make a note of the fact that I went out to lunch with a few [of my favorite] guys from work this past Wednesday. That doesn’t sound like a big deal to most people, but considering the amount of social anxiety disorder I have, it was a big step. I overcame some fear, enjoyed some good sushi, and, even though I was more quiet around them than I usually am at work, I don’t think they noticed anything out of the ordinary.  Success!

As for the issue with my back, I think it’s slowly starting to get better. I can usually only feel pain when I’m sitting on the couch or when I’m lying in any position in my bed. The latter of those two is the worst for me since I have enough trouble sleeping without back pain to deal with. My eyes have been terribly bloodshot. Regardless, in another week or so, I imagine that the pain will be gone and I can stop taking all of this medication.

The waves are crashing in…

Well, as of yesterday, my orders to HSC-8 are official.  I’m to report there in May, but no later than June 15th.  What amuses me is the fact that I was approached by a First Class-of-some-sort from HSC-21 as I was leaving work today.  I knew that there were some people who were hoping I’d get orders over there, and he was genuinely disappointed that I won’t be.  That struck me as odd though–I don’t even know him, like, at all.  I’ve seen the face around, but I don’t think we’ve ever talked.  It’s semi-flattering to know that I’m good enough at my job that people outside of my current squadron know who I am.

In other self-centered/make myself feel better news that also has to do with work, my supervisor and LPO made me feel important today.  We were re-arranging the shift list, my supervisor and I, to make it reflect how we wanted the shifts to be.  He told me that I could be in charge of any shift–that I should be.  He said that if it was possible to clone me, I’d be everywhere.  My LPO said that if I wanted to go to any other shift, all I had to do was ask, but he really wants me to stay on Day-check.  He needs me there to be the star runner, the person who gets things done.  I’m okay with my shift and the responsibilities I have, but that’s not to say it wouldn’t be nice to be in charge.  But, really, it is just nice to know that I have the option if I want it. 

It’s also nice to know that people trust me, and not just the people who are in charge.  I got a call a little while ago from one of the new guys on the Night shift.  He’s a Second Class, but new to the platform of aircraft we work on.  He asked me to walk him through how to do something on the helicopter, and I got him through it.  I’m glad that he knows I’m not going to ridicule or embarrass him, and that he trusts me enough to be able to teach him.  That’s accomplishment right there–not enjoying my own success, but the success of others.

I should probably mention that I finally went to Medical for my back on Monday.  My Division Officer gave me a direct order on Friday afternoon to get it checked out, so I really had no choice.  According to the doctor, I’ve been doing all that I should be to take care of it–the meds, the heating pad, the stretching.  I’ve been golden.  She took x-rays anyway, just in case. If anything irregular shows up on there, I’m sure I’ll hear about it in the next day or two, but I highly doubt it.  I’m convinced it’s just a strained muscle.  I did get some Naproxen (AKA: Advil) and Flexeril, which are some heavy duty muscle relaxers.  I took one last night while watching Heroes, and I didn’t think it was working until I work up this morning.  Until about lunchtime, I felt like everything, including myself, was moving in slow motion.  I guess that’s what it feels like to be high…everyone else was thoroughly amused.  hah.

Something right for once!

“You Amish people–thinking that God will cure all ailments.” I heard that from my supervisor when he found out I still hadn’t gone to Medical for my back, haha. Well, it didn’t hurt that bad today, but this weekend was another story. I was able to get out of bed each day, but only from pure stubbornness. I still might aim to see a chiropractor one of these days, but I make no promises.

Since my back was finally tolerable today, I had a huge store of energy at my disposal. We had a “field day” at work, which basically meant we cleaned everything. That’s right up my alley, so I didn’t complain. When I got home, I finally finished sanding the coffee table and now I’ve only got to do the staining process. I also had time to do a load of laundry, a sink full of dishes, and a window cleaning on the Jeep. I also fit in a hot shower as well as a movie with my roommate. I feel so accomplished! Yay for health!

Oh, I may have found out where my next set of orders will be to. A Chief came by our command today looking for Petty Officer Second Classes of the AT type who were transferring in the near future. I’m the only one that’s up for orders right now and I’m only a Third Class, but after he talked to my LPO and saw all of my qualifications, he wanted me. Apparently, if I went to this command, I’d be training all of the Ats because they’re just getting the aircraft that we currently have at my command. That’d be interesting. But, this definitely isn’t a for sure thing and I probably won’t know when, or if, it will be for a while yet.

Ow.

While I usually tend to believe that I’m an old soul trapped inside a young person’s body, I believe that the events of today may have disputed that fact.  My body is also growing old.

We’ve been having a lot of emergency drills at work.  From “man down” to fuel spills to no computer use.  It’s to prepare us for the real thing, and because we’re having an inspection on it in a week or two.  Anyway, during one of the drills today, I inadvertently made it real. 

As most of you know, my back has been giving me major issues since I moved out of my old apartment and this new project with re-finishing my coffee table has exasperated the pain.  I’ve been contemplating going to see a chiropractor just so I could get a readjustment, but now, I think I might need a little bit more than that.  After attempting to recover one of the “victims” during the drill, I had a major problem with standing back up.  I made it back to my shop, but I was unable to sit down or move from the upright position.  I had pulled my back out.  Stretching didn’t help too much and I tried to walk it off for a lot of the day.  Everyone was all over me to not move and they wanted to call an ambulance, but you know me–I’m extremely stubborn.  I did as much work as I could (both capably and allowed to), but I’m still in a lot of pain, especially since I had to suffer through Microeconomics’ class tonight too.

I know if I wake up in a decent amount of pain tomorrow morning and then go into work, my LPO will send me right to Medical.  He already called me on trying to hold in my winces today, so I know I can’t fake being all better.  I’m really hoping that I’ll be back to a dull ache so that I can just go to some civilian and get my back aligned instead of having to jump through all the hoops and ladders of Navy medicine.

I’m so glad that I mentioned my great physical health the other day because that totally jinxed me.  Thanks, self.  Really.

…

Just a few quick notes while I have the internet available to me. I’m all moved into the house, which was official for me as of Saturday evening. The electricity wasn’t turned on until yesterday, so I was living rather Amish-ly, with candlelight and all. So far no major issues to report on the house/roommate front, but it’s all still new.

I took my physics final last night and I think I did really well. I say this because the exam was almost exactly the same as the practice one he gave us for homework, just a different order where the questions are concerned. I’m still waiting for my tuition assistance to get back to me so that I can sign up for my economics’ class, and from what I’ve been told, I need to hand it in before the end of the week or there won’t be any spots left. I’d really rather not have to take another term off.

Work’s been stressing me out lately. It’s not necessarily too much for me to handle, or even a matter of me getting tasked too much. It’s that I’m usually the one doing all of the work. I do get praised for it, and that’s nice, but it’s starting to wear me out a bit. The Master Chief that I have a lot of classes with said he always asks people from my command about me when he runs into them and they all tell him the same thing, “she works her ass off!” It’s true, and I feel better knowing that good things are said about me behind my back. Eh, I’ll suck it up.

The PRT is this Friday and I’ve had a huge knot in my lower back, courtesy of all of the heavy lifting I’ve done because of the move. Too much lifting with my back instead of my legs, I guess. It’s slowly getting better, but I know it’s going to lower my scores on both my sit ups and push ups. I’m still a little if-y with the run, only because I haven’t had time to work out as much as usual lately. I’m sure if I push myself I can do just as good, if not better, than last time. Here’s to hoping.

Well, that’s about it. We should have internet sometime this weekend, but I make no promises, just in case. I’m totally bummed that I can’t watch Grey’s Anatomy at its normal time, but at least I can watch it online later, as well as my missed episodes of House and Heroes. So, until later..

Crash and burn.

I am known for having bad luck. It hurts me to admit this, but I am also severely clumsy too. These two points can be made solely by the fact that I took a nose dive on my bike this morning. I was trying to avoid a woman with a stroller who was on the sidewalk, so I rode off the curb, unharmed, and then made an attempt to get back on once I was a safe distance from her. Well, obviously, that didn’t go so fantastic. I seemed to have hit the curb at just the right angle to where my front wheel didn’t want to make the effort to climb an inch. I ended up landing much better than expected, but unfortunately, my wrist is in great pain. I’ve got a brush burn on my knee and shoulder and a little below my hip too.

At least I can say that my back is feeling much better after straining that muscle last week. While I traded one injury for another, I’m thankful that it’s my left wrist that took the blow since I’m a right-hander, though I’ve learned it’s quite difficult to do much with just one hand.

In other unlucky news, my Plane Captain board was postponed until next week, so all of those hours I spent studying this week were just a little pointless. Lisa called to wish me luck last night and then laughed when I said it was canceled–again. That wasn’t her only reason for calling–she wanted to know how my “date” went with Kevin since I blew her off to see him. That’s a topic that’s a little…fleeting…at the moment. I’m not foreseeing him pursuing me for much longer, given the vibe I got that night. Then again, who knows..?

Feeling a moment slip away…

Exhaustion and agony–it’s a toss up at this point.

I pulled my back out while at work on Thursday, most likely from me being the only one to climb all over the helo that day. The knot that has taken up residence along my shoulder blade is about baseball size. Brian tried his best to kneed the darn thing out when he got here on Friday, but didn’t have any luck. Add that on top of traveling for two days, half of which I was on the back of a crotch-rocket with a backpack on, and you can see why I’m in a bit of pain.

The trip wasn’t bad though. We took the train up to LA and then got on a bus to take us to Bakersfield and finally finished up the rest of the journey up to Modesto on the train again. We stayed at Brian’s best friends’ place and then left to return shortly after breakfast on Sunday. We did our best to stop every 50 miles, and my backside (in all senses of that word) really appreciated it. We did drive around Hollywood for a little while and that was pretty enjoyable since I’d never been there, and the mountains that we drove through before that were gorgeous, even if the weather was extremely cold. I think we finally got back to my place around 7 or 8pm, and then went and grabbed some Panda Express and watched Grey’s Anatomy–a great way to end 🙂

As for my back now, well, I was gratefully given some Advil at work and that seemed to help. I’m really crossing my fingers that it’s at least tolerable tomorrow because I’d really rather not have to go to Medical for this.

Tomorrow night I have class, Thursday I have my PC board with a possible mock board on Wednesday, and Friday I have watch. I’ve got laundry to do, homework to ignore, and boys to pursue–life can’t be busier 😉