I feel like my husband and I are weird, like we’re different from other couples. We don’t socialize like normal people. I mean, he has his friends from work and I have…well, none. We just don’t have other couples that we hang out with in our free time. No going out to dinner or out for drinks. No meeting up with friends for trips or hobbies. No time with friends that we share. Period. They don’t exist.
On the rare occasions that we do go out with other people, it’s usually me tagging along in a third wheel type scenario where I’m the only woman. My husband likes to say that I’m not the odd man/woman out because he wants me there, but I can’t help but feel awkward in those situations. I mean, really, I’m only going along to spend time with my husband who doesn’t end up spending time with me anyway. It’s a catch 22.
So, when a weekend rolls around and we’ve made no plans or have a block of time that’s open, we end up sniping at each other about being bored. Why? Because I want to spend time with my husband and he wants to spend time with me, but I don’t want to do what he wants to do and he doesn’t want to do what I want to do. It’s like, suddenly, we have no hobbies in common anymore. We’re both so miserable here in Southern California, so sick of the same drab scenery and excess of people, that we don’t want to go out to the same spots over and over again, but don’t want to stay locked indoors. I, especially, hate being stuck inside on the weekends because that’s where I am most of the other days during the week. I go stir crazy.
I’m just at a loss as to what to do. My husband says I’m not holding him back from what he wants to do, and he’s definitely not doing that to me, and yet we’re both not doing anything–together. With that said, what is normal? How much time do other couples spend together? What do they do? How do I stop these intermixing feelings of suffocation and loneliness?